My best friend just got diagnosed with autism at the age of 20, and I honestly don’t know how to support him. It’s been a lot to process, and I really want to be there for him, but I’m not sure what he needs or what to do next. I want to help him feel understood and accepted, but sometimes I worry I might say or do the wrong thing. He’s always been a little different, but this diagnosis really opened my eyes to things I hadn’t noticed before. I guess I’m just looking for advice from people who’ve been through this—what should I do to help him? How can I support him in a way that makes him feel comfortable and not overwhelmed?
Hi! I’m 27 and I was diagnosed with autism at 18. I totally get what your friend might be going through.
Btw, let me just say that it’s so nice that you care this much. And just being there for him already means a lot 
When I was diagnosed, one thing that helped me was having friends who didn’t treat me any differently. It’s not about fixing anything, it’s just understanding myself better. So I suggest that you let him take his time to process things and try not to push for answers if he’s not ready.
Here are also some tips that helped me before:
- Ask how you can support him (it’s better if it comes from him)
- Be patient. Being officially diagnosed is a huge even if he’s always been “a little different”
- Learn about autism together. That support goes a long way.
And the best of all, keep showing up. When I learned I have autism, it made me feel better knowing someone cares and wants to understand me more 
Hugs to you and your friend. If it makes you feel any better, you’re doing a very good job 
Heya! I’m autistic too, diagnosed later in life, and honestly? Just the fact that you’re trying to understand and support your friend already means a lot.
You don’t need to fix anything - just be someone he can be himself around. Let him process things in his own time and try not to treat him like he’s suddenly a different person.
A few things that helped me:
Ask what works for him instead of guessing — stuff like “Would it help if I texted instead of called?” or “Do you want a heads-up before plans change?”
Dont take it personally if he needs space or goes quiet — sometimes we just need time to recharge.
Avoid saying things like “You don’t seem autistic” — it might sound nice but can feel dismissive.
Let him stim, fidget, or be a bit different — that’s just how some of us self-regulate.
If routines or predictability matter to him, try to be mindful of that.